Free Taco Bell

Many of my loyal readers have forwarded me this week’s most compelling fast food story about Taco Bell being sued for advertising selling beef. On Tuesday, an Alabama law firm filed a class-action lawsuit against the fast food chain saying that the "seasoned beef" in those enchiladas and tacos is only composed of about 36 percent meat.

If this blog sold merchandise, this shirt would be the first product

 

My initial reaction was that this is just another example about how America has become an overly litigious society, hell bent on making a quick buck on someone else’s hard work.  I then learned that the lawsuit is not seeking any monetary compensation, but requests that the court order Taco Bell to be honest in its advertising.  This actually made me angrier.  So this lawsuit is to basically make noise over something that really doesn’t matter AND it’s not for profit?  I’ve determined that the law firm filing the lawsuit is just trying to make a name for themselves.  Can’t someone tell when biting into a Cheesy Gordita Crunch from Taco Bell that it’s not Kobe beef quality?  It’s still delicious.  Here’s an idea for all the law firms that want to try to get brand recognition.  Do pro bono work on issues that actually matter.  Respond to the legal needs to the poor and provide legal advice to those who can’t afford it.  And don’t get on your high horse and tell me that the suit was filed on behalf of a woman who couldn’t afford the legal services.  I don’t see how she could be benefiting from Taco Bell having small fine print in their ads saying that their products only contain 35% of beef.  This is just another example of a spoiled person that doesn’t know how spoiled they actually are.  Do you think that those starving kids in Africa from those depressing commercials would turn down a Crunch Wrap Supreme because it only has 35% beef?    Child Please.

Bet they wish some Frito Burritos were on that plate.

Taco Bell has responded to the lawsuit and I will continue to support them whether the ruling is for or against them.  You don’t see me trying to sue Kashi for telling me their products are “Yummy or Delicious”.  I’ve had Kashi before and their products are neither yummy nor delicious. In my opinion, trying their cereal was like eating a bowl of post-it notes with a heavy sprinkle of saw dust.  The chronically healthy eaters that try to tell me that they enjoy Kashi remind me of when I went away for an all boys basketball camp in the 7^th grade.  After all that time away from girls, even the biggest, ugliest, chick will look like a Marissa Miller…

Free Taco Bell.

TB's Frito Burrito

      In celebration of the 2011 Martin Luther King Day, I decided to try Taco Bell’s Beefy Crunch Burrito. Much like Hollywood remakes movies from the past because they are running out of ideas, like The Karate Kid, True Grit, and Alice and Wonderland, Taco Bell decided to bring back the Beefy Crunch Burrito from years ago. The Beefy Crunch Burrito is a chili cheese burrito with Spicy Frito Corn Chips added in.
      I’ll be the first to admit that I don't have the best knowledge about Taco Bell’s menu. I’m more of a McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Dunkin Donuts guy. When I think about Taco Bell, I think of my two friends, Doug and Evan. Doug and Evan were roommates for 3 years in college and continue to be great friends. I’m a firm believer that couples need to have a few common interests to use as a base for their relationship. Some couples have an affinity for wine and go to tastings together, some couples are like the ones in the Michelob Ultra ads and love to go hiking and be active. I like to think that Doug and Evan’s friendship is based on the foundation that is the love for Taco Bell. These are two people that have gone to a Taco Bell 20 minutes before it has opened and waited the 20 minutes to get their “breakfast”. That’s commitment.
      So yesterday I asked my friend Doug if he had tried the Beefy Crunch Burrito and he had not. Today was the perfect time to try it. Now if you live in Boston, you are probably aware of the fact that it lacks in its Taco Bell options. It’s perplexing but Taco Bell has yet to really penetrate the Boston market. For that reason, I don’t really have a go to Taco Bell around the city.

Taco Bell/KFC

I end up driving to the Taco Bell/KFC in Cambridge by Central Square. I’ve been there before and it has parking. I think that’s where my first mistake was made. I’ve had discussions about 2 fast food joints sharing one building. For the most part, they’ve had lackluster reviews for service or quality. Which make sense if you think about it. I compare it to when a high school athlete excels at 2 sports. Eventually, to get the college scholarship, you have to decide on a sport to focus you skills on. I order the Beefy Crunch Burrito by the name it should be called, “The Frito Burrito”, and the lady looks at me with a confused face and points at a picture of the Beefy Crunch Burrito as if to say, “Did you mean this one?” Come on Taco Belll! Frito rhymes with Burrito! The name is right in front of you and you name it the “Beefy Crunch Burrito”? You messed up.
      So I order and a woman in a KFC outfit starts making my Burrito. The was not busy enough that I was able to watch her make the burrito. To say that she was lacking in enthusiasm while making my burrito would be an understatement. The execution was downright sloppy. I think she even yawned when adding the sour cream that comes out in that weird caulking gun contraption. Nonetheless, I was put off by the service. I ended up driving back to my apartment and eating the burrito there.
      When people ask me how the Beefy Crunch Burrito is, I will tell them the only thing that comes to mind. It’s ok. I don’t know you’ve had Frito Lay’s “Flaming Hot” version of their products before but they are kind of all the same. A few of the “Flaming Hot” snacks I’ve had are the Flaming Hot Lays Chips, Flaming Hot Cheetos and the Flaming Hot Funyuns. These products are basically Lays, Cheetos, or Funyuns covered with a red flavoring that makes them spicy. One thing to note is the red isn’t just your normal red. It’s a radioactive red that also dyes your fingers the same color while eating.

Should be named "Frito Burrito"

     The first bite I had is spicy. It’s all chip and burrito wrap. It’s also crunchy like the commercials say. As I keep on eating, the burrito gets less crunchy and spicy as the beef, rice, and sour cream make the Frito’s soggier and coat the spiciness. However, it’s hard to say something negative about the burrito itself. The flavors of Flaming Hot Fritos, beef, rice and sour cream go well together in taste and texture. It just doesn’t knock your socks off. Add that along with its very reasonable 99 cent price and it’s a pretty good deal. If the Beefy Crunch Burrito were a movie, I’d tell you to see it, but wait until it comes out on DVD.

Ratings:

Taste: B
Visual Appeal: B-
Value: A
Actual to Commercial: B+

D&D Sausage Bites

I first heard about the Dunkin Donuts Sausage Bites from the commercial Dunkin airs on TV.  In the commercial, some annoying guy is talking to a stranger on an escalator about how much he loves the new Dunkin Donuts Sausage Bites.  It’s pretty much a one way conversation as the stranger leaves in the opposite direction as the protagonist in the commercial.  My initial reaction was what I typically have when a fast food establishment introduces a new item: “That looks kind of gross… I can’t wait to try it!”.  The Hall of Fame for this reaction was when I first heard about the KFC double down. 

As time went by, I kept on holding off on purchasing the Sausage Bites.  They are clearly a breakfast item, and I’m too drawn in by the egg sandwiches (If I’m feeling hungry) or the wake up wraps (if I just want a small snack) when I go to Dunkin Donuts.  Note:  If I really feel like spoiling myself, I get the bacon or sausage egg and cheese on a bagel or croissant with a side of hash browns.  My partner in crime on most Dunkin Donuts new taste tests is my friend and co-worker, Micah.  We have gotten the Pumpkin Coffee together, the Maple Cheddar Breakfast sandwich together, as well as other various Dunkin items.  For some reason, our schedules have conflicted going to work and we haven’t had a chance to sample the Sausage Bites.  Time went by, and my trial of the Sausage Bites went by the wayside.  It was just never a priority to try them. 

However, in the past weeks, I’ve started hearing inklings of positive reviews for the Sausage Bites.  The first was from a highly trusted outside consultant who is also a fast foodie.  This review certainly perked my interest in trying the “Bites”.  The second positive review came from quite an unexpected source.   A pretty and friendly girl upstairs in legal, who I’ve never spoken to about my love for fast food, heard from someone how much I love Dunkin Donuts.  She came up to me and raved about Sausage Bites.  That was it.  I was SOLD.   I decided to go on a solo mission this morning to try the Bites. 

I went to the Dunk Donuts on Stuart Street in Boston on my way to work.  It’s well staffed and much faster than the one on the Dunkin in the Back Bay Station.   Don’t get me started on the quality of different Dunkin Donuts establishments.  I’ll save that for a different posting.

So I order the 3 piece Sausage Bites.  It comes to $1.59 which is pretty reasonable.  I also order a small coffee.  I take them back to my desk without looking at them.   At first glance, they are larger than I expected.  I thought they would be munchkin sized but they are actually a bit larger.  

(Attached is a picture compared to my ChapStick.  No one likes chapped lips.)

The first bite is pretty good.  The flavor goes from salty to sweet.  There is actually more sausage than I anticipated which is great.  I don’t know why I expected Dunkin Donuts to skimp on the sausage.  They’ve rarely disappointed me before.  The sausage is not the same as the sausage Dunkin uses in its egg sandwiches.  Typically, fast food chains just mix and match ingredients from different items on their menu for what I’m assuming, is cost efficiency.   Some examples of this are like when Burger King uses onion rings to add to their Rodeo Burger (a top 10 dollar menu item for me) or when Wendy’s swaps in their spicy chicken sandwich patty into the Bacon Blue Burger sandwich for the chicken version of the Bacon Blue Burger.  In this case, Dunkin uses what seems to be a sausage link instead of a sausage patty.  Upon chewing, the initial salty taste of the sausage dissipates and the sweetness of the pancake wrap comes to life.  It is not too sweet in maple syrup flavor like when Mcdonald’s gave us “Mcgriddles”, but just the right amount.  Upon further chewing, a cornbready texture is introduced.  I finished my Bites in 2 bites and was thoroughly impressed.  I could have easily eaten about 10 more. 

Another point I’d like to make about the Sausage Bites are how accurate they are to their advertisements.  Usually, I find that fast food joints overly exaggerate how awesome their items look.  I then find myself being extremely disappointed with the actual item I purchase.  The biggest offenders are Subway and Burger King.  In this case, I was very impressed with the actual Bites to the ones in the commercial. 

In conclusion, I highly recommend trying the sausage bites.  They grade very well in taste, value, and actual to advertisement.

Ratings:

Taste:  A

Visual Appeal:  C-

Value: A-

Actual to Commercial: A