In-N-Out Burger

I travel quite a bit for work and these past 2 weeks I was in Pasadena, California.  I consider this a relative perk of my job, as the long Boston winter can get a bit arduous by late March and early April.  Another perk of my job is that I expense my meals.   We are afforded with a generous travel budget and get to go to nice restaurants on the road.  Recently, I heard a story about how my group was quite under budget with our overall travel expenses.  The head of my group was told that we could afford to spend more.  The head of my department then responded, “It’s because of this one kid we have! All he eats is Burger King.  I’ve seen his receipts.” 

Regardless of the comment, going to California, I knew I had to get In-N-Out Burger.  I first tried In-N-Out Burger when I was on this same work trip in 2009.  I went with co-workers and it did not disappoint despite high expectations from never hearing a bad review of the place. 

Duel Drive-Thu's

There’s something to be said about knowing what do and doing it well.  Steve Kerr made a very good career in the NBA by being a dead-eye three point shooter.  This is despite being one of the slowest, weakest, and shortest players in the NBA.  Derek Zoolander won multiple “Male Model of the Year” awards with basically only one look, Blue Steele, and despite not being able to turn left on the runway.  In-N-Out Burger has a very limited menu.  It has Burgers, fried and shakes.  I ordered the double double combo, which is a double cheese burger, fries and a drink.  In-and-Out’s burgers come with onions and a sauce that is a mayonnaise based sauce, similar to thousand island dressing.  I opted to go with no onions.  I’m not a big fan of raw onions.  I feel like the taste lingers in your mouth for days when you eat them.  We went through the drive through, which was very efficient and brought it back to work.  My double burger was delicious.  It was juicy, meaty, and was complimented well with the sauce.  The fries were thin cut shoestring fries and were lightly salted.  The meal was a throw-back that made me think that Fast-Fooders would order this exact meal in the 50’s and 60’s.  It definitely withstands the test of time.  

Classic

Later, I would hear from my Brother-in-Law, who spent his undergraduate time in California.  He asked me if I went “Animal Style”.  I was unaware of this order and he explained that it “include pickles, extra spread, grilled onions, and mustard fried onto each meat patty” .…..  Well I guess you don’t know what you don’t know.  Maybe next time.

Ratings:

Taste:  A

Visual Appeal: A

Value: B

Actual to Commercial: N/A (I’ve never seen a commercial)

Steak 'n Shake

For this post, the Undercover Blogger has blessed us with his journalist gifts and reviewed a midwest restaurant called Steak 'n Shake.  While the true origin of the Undercover Blogger is unknown, legend has it that he cut his teeth writing guest posts for http://fittingitallin.wordpress.com/ where he is known for his genuine enthusiasm and honesty.  If someone ran an NFL'esque combine for internet blogs, Fittingitallin would score highly in all areas. Its like the Julio Jones of internet blogs; off the charts in measurables, such as viewership, depth of knowledge, value of information, etc... 

So without further ado...

Q asked me to do a guest post since he felt the blog was getting a little bland these days, you know with the whole no posts thing. So I have stepped in to write about a great Midwest (and Florida for some reason) tradition, which is Steak N Shake. Steak N Shake is that in between restaurant/fast food place. They have a sit down area with servers, but also have a drive through, which is the perfect mixture of fastness and horrible for your deliciousness.

Steak N Shake is known for its “steak” burgers and milk shakes. Get it? They also have awesome chili and other items like cheese fries, chicken, hot dogs, and salads (boring). Now my ‘go to’ order from Steak N Shake is the Frisco Melt Platter. You get 2 sides with the platter so the obvious is cheese fries and chili. And while the chili is delicious, the fries leave something to be desired unless you get the cheese, which is good old fashioned cheese wiz. 

The burgers are actually steak burgers and they are cooked on a flat top which makes sure all the fatty liquids soak into the burger making them delicious and delicious for you. They are smaller patties since they are smashed down on the flat top so a single is pretty much worthless and a double is necessary.  Now the Frisco Melt comes with 2 patties, American and Swiss cheese and as they say, sweet n tangy Frisco sauce on sourdough toast. Now everything about this sandwich screams low calories, low fat; however it isn’t cause it tastes awesome. Now, I might be biased but it really is a great burger and its open 24 hours so it’s the perfect drunk snack/complete meal.

Now for the chili and everything else. They make the chili in the restaurant and it tastes like it because it’s mmm mmm good. They don’t do anything crazy with it, but its just good old fashioned chili, and that’s usually the best kind. Now as I mentioned before, the fries aren’t great, and that is why the cheese is necessary. They are the thin fries and they aren’t dipped in batter or anything and they don’t season them well. But their hot dogs are pretty good as well as their chicken fingers. They also serve breakfast as well so it’s pretty much a chain diner with a drive through.

Now for the Milk Shakes. They are “hand dipped” (by retarded 30 year olds who still work at Steak N Shake), and you can get the normal flavors to M&Ms, Butterfinger and Oreo. They really are diner quality shakes which makes them real, as in not watery and slurpy.  So get one if you ever go.

In conclusion,

Steak Burgers  A-

Chili                B+

Fries                C

Shakes             A-

Other Stuff     Solid

It is definitely worth the trip and if you ask nicely they might even give you a crazy little diner hat for you to wear so you can fit in the retarded 30 year olds making your food.

D&D's Big 'N Toasty

I originally bought Dunkin Donut’s Big ‘N Toasty on a Sunday morning, before going to play a round of indoor golf.  Whether it’s indoor golf or outdoor golf, I really enjoy getting my coffee and breakfast at Dunkin Donuts.  Please be warned, Dunkin Donuts coffee and breakfast before golf is not for everyone.  Some of my friends consider that combination to be quite a potent laxative.  No one wants to do the awkward penguin walk to the bathroom after the second hole. 

Only for strong stomachs

The Big ‘N Toasty markets itself as featuring two peppered fried eggs, four slices of cherry wood smoked bacon and a slice of American cheese.  All of these are put between two slices of Texas toast.  I did not read these specifications of the Big ‘N Toasty before my first purchase.  I just saw the pictures hanging around multiple Dunkin Donuts around Boston and in typical caveman fashion, thought to myself, “ME WANT NOW”.  All of the ingredients of the Big ‘N Tasty are right up my alley.  I thought it would be a no brainer, that the whole would be greater than the sum of its parts.  However, I was very disappointed with the Big ‘N Toasty.  I was shocked by how greasy the Texas toast was. I don’t mind grease in my food, but this thing was greasier than a teenager’s forehead working the fryer at Krusty Burger.  Couple that with a severe lack of bacon, and I was downtrodden by the entire breakfast.  If you’re going to use two thick slices of Texas toast to book-end the sandwich, the amount of bacon I received was simply not enough.  It felt like I was eating just an egg and cheese sandwich.  The only positive of the sandwich was its portability.   I ended up driving to golf and eating the sandwich while keeping my lap and seat clean.

As the week went by, I convinced myself that maybe the Dunkin Donuts at the corner of East and West Broadway in South Boston had skimped me on bacon.  Maybe they gave me 2 slices instead of 4.  Dunkin Donuts has been so good to me in the past that they have built up the equity to deserve a second chance.  I also changed up my order to replace the bacon with sausage.  At Dunkin Donuts, one sausage patty has more meat than two bacon slices, but somehow that’s what the break down is when you substitute one for the other.  The second trial is better than the first.  The sausage patties are definitely more proportional to the Texas toast and the fried eggs.  They don’t get lost in it all and makes for a much more balanced sandwich.  I had it for breakfast and was full through lunch.  What I still can’t get past is the greasiness of the toast.  It’s just as greasy as KFC original recipe chicken which is on the Mount Rushmore of greasy food items.  The Big ‘N Toasty was a rare miss for Dunkin Donuts.

Ratings:

Taste: C

Visual Appeal: A

Value: B

Actual to Commercial: C-

BK's Cheddar Jalapeno Burger

I realize I haven’t posted in a while.  I’ve been staring at this review of the Jalapeno & Cheddar Burger for a while now.  It’s just that my relationship with Burger King is so extensive that I’ve been finding it rather difficult to fit it all in to one post.  I consider myself a relative expert on BK.  Maybe someday I’ll write a book about it (highly unlikely).  It only makes sense.  Did Adam Smith write a blog about economic theory?  No; he wrote Wealth of Nations.  Consider this post to be an excerpt from my future fake book, “Diarrhea Nation”. 

Burger King has the best commercials of any of the fast food chains.  Notice how I did not say marketing scheme.  The best marketing of the fast food chains has to be McDonalds.  They are EVERYWHERE.  I once watched a documentary that had an adult showing kindergarten kids flash cards with symbols on it.  When the adult showed the kids a flash card with the letter “m”, the kids had no idea what it was.  When the adult then showed the kids a flashcard with McDonald’s golden arches “M”, the kids erupted as if they were just told they won a free trip to Disney World, screaming the right answer, “MCDONALDS!!!!!”

This kid loves the Golden Arches

If that’s not effective marketing bordering on brainwashing, I don’t know what is.  Back to BK commercials. They are definitely geared toward me, a male age 18-30.  BK’s commercials peaked when I was in college from 2003-2007 when they featured a man who dressed up as The Burger King himself with a mask that does not change its reaction.  My favorite of these commercials were when The King was superimposed into NFL football games.  Specifically, I loved when the King took the role of Ed Reed of the Baltimore Ravens and intercepted Drew Bledsoe of the Buffalo Bills for a touchdown.  Simply genius.

If you watched the 2010 NFL playoffs, there’s a 99% chance you are aware about the Jalapeno & Cheddar Burger.  The commercials show a bunch of jalapenos and cheddar cubes in with a black background and flames.  The voice over says starts with something like, “Beef, meet cheddar….”

A few weeks, I decided that it was time to try the Jalapeno & Cheddar Burger.  I went to the Burger King closest to work on a solo mission.  It was my first time at the Copley Square BK.  I previously avoided it because I had one in South Boston for 2 years, and because fast food joints increase their prices in downtown Boston for obvious reasons. 

Ehhhhhhhhh

When I first opened the wrapper of the Burger, I was instantly disappointed.  It was soggy and juices dripped down my hand.  I’ve been told before that I should really eat my meals at the restaurant that I buy them in, and that the transfer of the food from the restaurant to wherever I eat it declines the quality of the taste.  I understand that argument, but I try to keep my lunches as short as possible, and I would much rather spend my lunch time eating while reading espn.com than eating in the some uncomfortable chair at a fast food restaurant by myself.  I also believe that most of the time, people take their food out of fast food restaurants and my reviews should reflect that. The taste is spicy due to the jalapenos.  Every other bite or so, I taste the cheddar.  The texture of the burger isn't as meaty as I like.  The meat is surrounded by jalapeno and cheddar and its meatloafy consistency reflects that.  I would not recommend the Jalapeno & Cheddar Burger.

Ratings:

Taste: D

Visual Appeal: D

Value: C+

Actual to Commercial: D

D&D's V-day

Last week, a very generous co-worker of mine surprised everyone by bringing in a box of full sized donuts from Dunkin Donuts after lunch.  While it's an unorthodox move, I'm a big fan of people bringing in donuts after lunch.  This is mostly because I usually only drink coffee during the 2:30pm post-lunch wall. For those who aren't involved in the real world, the 2:30pm post-lunch wall is when you become so tired that you would literally Karate Kid 1 crane kick your pregnant sister in the stomach, in exchange for a 30 minute nap under your work desk.


Buy Me.

Included in the box of donuts was a Cupid's Choice heart shaped donut.  Now this post is not a review of the donut.  It is simply a post of advice.  Buy a box of these donuts during Valentine's Day and bring them to work.  Not only are they delicious (filled with the Boston Creme filling , topped with a candy coating, and a perfect compliment to a hot cup of coffee), they are god damn aesthetically pleasing!  Look at the box to the left.  That's a handsome box of donuts.  I guarantee that you will become a hit with your co-workers while spreading positive vibes around your office, making everyone's Monday better.  If this does not happen then you probably work as a janitor at a porno theater.



Now I know what you are thinking:  "I'm not a donut person"; "I hate Valentine's Day"; "My parent's don't love me"....
This isn't about you, you selfish whiner.  This is about spreading the love.  Spread the love friends.  Spread the love.

Homer would do it.

Free Taco Bell

Many of my loyal readers have forwarded me this week’s most compelling fast food story about Taco Bell being sued for advertising selling beef. On Tuesday, an Alabama law firm filed a class-action lawsuit against the fast food chain saying that the "seasoned beef" in those enchiladas and tacos is only composed of about 36 percent meat.

If this blog sold merchandise, this shirt would be the first product

 

My initial reaction was that this is just another example about how America has become an overly litigious society, hell bent on making a quick buck on someone else’s hard work.  I then learned that the lawsuit is not seeking any monetary compensation, but requests that the court order Taco Bell to be honest in its advertising.  This actually made me angrier.  So this lawsuit is to basically make noise over something that really doesn’t matter AND it’s not for profit?  I’ve determined that the law firm filing the lawsuit is just trying to make a name for themselves.  Can’t someone tell when biting into a Cheesy Gordita Crunch from Taco Bell that it’s not Kobe beef quality?  It’s still delicious.  Here’s an idea for all the law firms that want to try to get brand recognition.  Do pro bono work on issues that actually matter.  Respond to the legal needs to the poor and provide legal advice to those who can’t afford it.  And don’t get on your high horse and tell me that the suit was filed on behalf of a woman who couldn’t afford the legal services.  I don’t see how she could be benefiting from Taco Bell having small fine print in their ads saying that their products only contain 35% of beef.  This is just another example of a spoiled person that doesn’t know how spoiled they actually are.  Do you think that those starving kids in Africa from those depressing commercials would turn down a Crunch Wrap Supreme because it only has 35% beef?    Child Please.

Bet they wish some Frito Burritos were on that plate.

Taco Bell has responded to the lawsuit and I will continue to support them whether the ruling is for or against them.  You don’t see me trying to sue Kashi for telling me their products are “Yummy or Delicious”.  I’ve had Kashi before and their products are neither yummy nor delicious. In my opinion, trying their cereal was like eating a bowl of post-it notes with a heavy sprinkle of saw dust.  The chronically healthy eaters that try to tell me that they enjoy Kashi remind me of when I went away for an all boys basketball camp in the 7^th grade.  After all that time away from girls, even the biggest, ugliest, chick will look like a Marissa Miller…

Free Taco Bell.

TB's Frito Burrito

      In celebration of the 2011 Martin Luther King Day, I decided to try Taco Bell’s Beefy Crunch Burrito. Much like Hollywood remakes movies from the past because they are running out of ideas, like The Karate Kid, True Grit, and Alice and Wonderland, Taco Bell decided to bring back the Beefy Crunch Burrito from years ago. The Beefy Crunch Burrito is a chili cheese burrito with Spicy Frito Corn Chips added in.
      I’ll be the first to admit that I don't have the best knowledge about Taco Bell’s menu. I’m more of a McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Dunkin Donuts guy. When I think about Taco Bell, I think of my two friends, Doug and Evan. Doug and Evan were roommates for 3 years in college and continue to be great friends. I’m a firm believer that couples need to have a few common interests to use as a base for their relationship. Some couples have an affinity for wine and go to tastings together, some couples are like the ones in the Michelob Ultra ads and love to go hiking and be active. I like to think that Doug and Evan’s friendship is based on the foundation that is the love for Taco Bell. These are two people that have gone to a Taco Bell 20 minutes before it has opened and waited the 20 minutes to get their “breakfast”. That’s commitment.
      So yesterday I asked my friend Doug if he had tried the Beefy Crunch Burrito and he had not. Today was the perfect time to try it. Now if you live in Boston, you are probably aware of the fact that it lacks in its Taco Bell options. It’s perplexing but Taco Bell has yet to really penetrate the Boston market. For that reason, I don’t really have a go to Taco Bell around the city.

Taco Bell/KFC

I end up driving to the Taco Bell/KFC in Cambridge by Central Square. I’ve been there before and it has parking. I think that’s where my first mistake was made. I’ve had discussions about 2 fast food joints sharing one building. For the most part, they’ve had lackluster reviews for service or quality. Which make sense if you think about it. I compare it to when a high school athlete excels at 2 sports. Eventually, to get the college scholarship, you have to decide on a sport to focus you skills on. I order the Beefy Crunch Burrito by the name it should be called, “The Frito Burrito”, and the lady looks at me with a confused face and points at a picture of the Beefy Crunch Burrito as if to say, “Did you mean this one?” Come on Taco Belll! Frito rhymes with Burrito! The name is right in front of you and you name it the “Beefy Crunch Burrito”? You messed up.
      So I order and a woman in a KFC outfit starts making my Burrito. The was not busy enough that I was able to watch her make the burrito. To say that she was lacking in enthusiasm while making my burrito would be an understatement. The execution was downright sloppy. I think she even yawned when adding the sour cream that comes out in that weird caulking gun contraption. Nonetheless, I was put off by the service. I ended up driving back to my apartment and eating the burrito there.
      When people ask me how the Beefy Crunch Burrito is, I will tell them the only thing that comes to mind. It’s ok. I don’t know you’ve had Frito Lay’s “Flaming Hot” version of their products before but they are kind of all the same. A few of the “Flaming Hot” snacks I’ve had are the Flaming Hot Lays Chips, Flaming Hot Cheetos and the Flaming Hot Funyuns. These products are basically Lays, Cheetos, or Funyuns covered with a red flavoring that makes them spicy. One thing to note is the red isn’t just your normal red. It’s a radioactive red that also dyes your fingers the same color while eating.

Should be named "Frito Burrito"

     The first bite I had is spicy. It’s all chip and burrito wrap. It’s also crunchy like the commercials say. As I keep on eating, the burrito gets less crunchy and spicy as the beef, rice, and sour cream make the Frito’s soggier and coat the spiciness. However, it’s hard to say something negative about the burrito itself. The flavors of Flaming Hot Fritos, beef, rice and sour cream go well together in taste and texture. It just doesn’t knock your socks off. Add that along with its very reasonable 99 cent price and it’s a pretty good deal. If the Beefy Crunch Burrito were a movie, I’d tell you to see it, but wait until it comes out on DVD.

Ratings:

Taste: B
Visual Appeal: B-
Value: A
Actual to Commercial: B+

D&D Sausage Bites

I first heard about the Dunkin Donuts Sausage Bites from the commercial Dunkin airs on TV.  In the commercial, some annoying guy is talking to a stranger on an escalator about how much he loves the new Dunkin Donuts Sausage Bites.  It’s pretty much a one way conversation as the stranger leaves in the opposite direction as the protagonist in the commercial.  My initial reaction was what I typically have when a fast food establishment introduces a new item: “That looks kind of gross… I can’t wait to try it!”.  The Hall of Fame for this reaction was when I first heard about the KFC double down. 

As time went by, I kept on holding off on purchasing the Sausage Bites.  They are clearly a breakfast item, and I’m too drawn in by the egg sandwiches (If I’m feeling hungry) or the wake up wraps (if I just want a small snack) when I go to Dunkin Donuts.  Note:  If I really feel like spoiling myself, I get the bacon or sausage egg and cheese on a bagel or croissant with a side of hash browns.  My partner in crime on most Dunkin Donuts new taste tests is my friend and co-worker, Micah.  We have gotten the Pumpkin Coffee together, the Maple Cheddar Breakfast sandwich together, as well as other various Dunkin items.  For some reason, our schedules have conflicted going to work and we haven’t had a chance to sample the Sausage Bites.  Time went by, and my trial of the Sausage Bites went by the wayside.  It was just never a priority to try them. 

However, in the past weeks, I’ve started hearing inklings of positive reviews for the Sausage Bites.  The first was from a highly trusted outside consultant who is also a fast foodie.  This review certainly perked my interest in trying the “Bites”.  The second positive review came from quite an unexpected source.   A pretty and friendly girl upstairs in legal, who I’ve never spoken to about my love for fast food, heard from someone how much I love Dunkin Donuts.  She came up to me and raved about Sausage Bites.  That was it.  I was SOLD.   I decided to go on a solo mission this morning to try the Bites. 

I went to the Dunk Donuts on Stuart Street in Boston on my way to work.  It’s well staffed and much faster than the one on the Dunkin in the Back Bay Station.   Don’t get me started on the quality of different Dunkin Donuts establishments.  I’ll save that for a different posting.

So I order the 3 piece Sausage Bites.  It comes to $1.59 which is pretty reasonable.  I also order a small coffee.  I take them back to my desk without looking at them.   At first glance, they are larger than I expected.  I thought they would be munchkin sized but they are actually a bit larger.  

(Attached is a picture compared to my ChapStick.  No one likes chapped lips.)

The first bite is pretty good.  The flavor goes from salty to sweet.  There is actually more sausage than I anticipated which is great.  I don’t know why I expected Dunkin Donuts to skimp on the sausage.  They’ve rarely disappointed me before.  The sausage is not the same as the sausage Dunkin uses in its egg sandwiches.  Typically, fast food chains just mix and match ingredients from different items on their menu for what I’m assuming, is cost efficiency.   Some examples of this are like when Burger King uses onion rings to add to their Rodeo Burger (a top 10 dollar menu item for me) or when Wendy’s swaps in their spicy chicken sandwich patty into the Bacon Blue Burger sandwich for the chicken version of the Bacon Blue Burger.  In this case, Dunkin uses what seems to be a sausage link instead of a sausage patty.  Upon chewing, the initial salty taste of the sausage dissipates and the sweetness of the pancake wrap comes to life.  It is not too sweet in maple syrup flavor like when Mcdonald’s gave us “Mcgriddles”, but just the right amount.  Upon further chewing, a cornbready texture is introduced.  I finished my Bites in 2 bites and was thoroughly impressed.  I could have easily eaten about 10 more. 

Another point I’d like to make about the Sausage Bites are how accurate they are to their advertisements.  Usually, I find that fast food joints overly exaggerate how awesome their items look.  I then find myself being extremely disappointed with the actual item I purchase.  The biggest offenders are Subway and Burger King.  In this case, I was very impressed with the actual Bites to the ones in the commercial. 

In conclusion, I highly recommend trying the sausage bites.  They grade very well in taste, value, and actual to advertisement.

Ratings:

Taste:  A

Visual Appeal:  C-

Value: A-

Actual to Commercial: A