Steak 'n Shake

For this post, the Undercover Blogger has blessed us with his journalist gifts and reviewed a midwest restaurant called Steak 'n Shake.  While the true origin of the Undercover Blogger is unknown, legend has it that he cut his teeth writing guest posts for http://fittingitallin.wordpress.com/ where he is known for his genuine enthusiasm and honesty.  If someone ran an NFL'esque combine for internet blogs, Fittingitallin would score highly in all areas. Its like the Julio Jones of internet blogs; off the charts in measurables, such as viewership, depth of knowledge, value of information, etc... 

So without further ado...

Q asked me to do a guest post since he felt the blog was getting a little bland these days, you know with the whole no posts thing. So I have stepped in to write about a great Midwest (and Florida for some reason) tradition, which is Steak N Shake. Steak N Shake is that in between restaurant/fast food place. They have a sit down area with servers, but also have a drive through, which is the perfect mixture of fastness and horrible for your deliciousness.

Steak N Shake is known for its “steak” burgers and milk shakes. Get it? They also have awesome chili and other items like cheese fries, chicken, hot dogs, and salads (boring). Now my ‘go to’ order from Steak N Shake is the Frisco Melt Platter. You get 2 sides with the platter so the obvious is cheese fries and chili. And while the chili is delicious, the fries leave something to be desired unless you get the cheese, which is good old fashioned cheese wiz. 

The burgers are actually steak burgers and they are cooked on a flat top which makes sure all the fatty liquids soak into the burger making them delicious and delicious for you. They are smaller patties since they are smashed down on the flat top so a single is pretty much worthless and a double is necessary.  Now the Frisco Melt comes with 2 patties, American and Swiss cheese and as they say, sweet n tangy Frisco sauce on sourdough toast. Now everything about this sandwich screams low calories, low fat; however it isn’t cause it tastes awesome. Now, I might be biased but it really is a great burger and its open 24 hours so it’s the perfect drunk snack/complete meal.

Now for the chili and everything else. They make the chili in the restaurant and it tastes like it because it’s mmm mmm good. They don’t do anything crazy with it, but its just good old fashioned chili, and that’s usually the best kind. Now as I mentioned before, the fries aren’t great, and that is why the cheese is necessary. They are the thin fries and they aren’t dipped in batter or anything and they don’t season them well. But their hot dogs are pretty good as well as their chicken fingers. They also serve breakfast as well so it’s pretty much a chain diner with a drive through.

Now for the Milk Shakes. They are “hand dipped” (by retarded 30 year olds who still work at Steak N Shake), and you can get the normal flavors to M&Ms, Butterfinger and Oreo. They really are diner quality shakes which makes them real, as in not watery and slurpy.  So get one if you ever go.

In conclusion,

Steak Burgers  A-

Chili                B+

Fries                C

Shakes             A-

Other Stuff     Solid

It is definitely worth the trip and if you ask nicely they might even give you a crazy little diner hat for you to wear so you can fit in the retarded 30 year olds making your food.

D&D's Big 'N Toasty

I originally bought Dunkin Donut’s Big ‘N Toasty on a Sunday morning, before going to play a round of indoor golf.  Whether it’s indoor golf or outdoor golf, I really enjoy getting my coffee and breakfast at Dunkin Donuts.  Please be warned, Dunkin Donuts coffee and breakfast before golf is not for everyone.  Some of my friends consider that combination to be quite a potent laxative.  No one wants to do the awkward penguin walk to the bathroom after the second hole. 

Only for strong stomachs

The Big ‘N Toasty markets itself as featuring two peppered fried eggs, four slices of cherry wood smoked bacon and a slice of American cheese.  All of these are put between two slices of Texas toast.  I did not read these specifications of the Big ‘N Toasty before my first purchase.  I just saw the pictures hanging around multiple Dunkin Donuts around Boston and in typical caveman fashion, thought to myself, “ME WANT NOW”.  All of the ingredients of the Big ‘N Tasty are right up my alley.  I thought it would be a no brainer, that the whole would be greater than the sum of its parts.  However, I was very disappointed with the Big ‘N Toasty.  I was shocked by how greasy the Texas toast was. I don’t mind grease in my food, but this thing was greasier than a teenager’s forehead working the fryer at Krusty Burger.  Couple that with a severe lack of bacon, and I was downtrodden by the entire breakfast.  If you’re going to use two thick slices of Texas toast to book-end the sandwich, the amount of bacon I received was simply not enough.  It felt like I was eating just an egg and cheese sandwich.  The only positive of the sandwich was its portability.   I ended up driving to golf and eating the sandwich while keeping my lap and seat clean.

As the week went by, I convinced myself that maybe the Dunkin Donuts at the corner of East and West Broadway in South Boston had skimped me on bacon.  Maybe they gave me 2 slices instead of 4.  Dunkin Donuts has been so good to me in the past that they have built up the equity to deserve a second chance.  I also changed up my order to replace the bacon with sausage.  At Dunkin Donuts, one sausage patty has more meat than two bacon slices, but somehow that’s what the break down is when you substitute one for the other.  The second trial is better than the first.  The sausage patties are definitely more proportional to the Texas toast and the fried eggs.  They don’t get lost in it all and makes for a much more balanced sandwich.  I had it for breakfast and was full through lunch.  What I still can’t get past is the greasiness of the toast.  It’s just as greasy as KFC original recipe chicken which is on the Mount Rushmore of greasy food items.  The Big ‘N Toasty was a rare miss for Dunkin Donuts.

Ratings:

Taste: C

Visual Appeal: A

Value: B

Actual to Commercial: C-

BK's Cheddar Jalapeno Burger

I realize I haven’t posted in a while.  I’ve been staring at this review of the Jalapeno & Cheddar Burger for a while now.  It’s just that my relationship with Burger King is so extensive that I’ve been finding it rather difficult to fit it all in to one post.  I consider myself a relative expert on BK.  Maybe someday I’ll write a book about it (highly unlikely).  It only makes sense.  Did Adam Smith write a blog about economic theory?  No; he wrote Wealth of Nations.  Consider this post to be an excerpt from my future fake book, “Diarrhea Nation”. 

Burger King has the best commercials of any of the fast food chains.  Notice how I did not say marketing scheme.  The best marketing of the fast food chains has to be McDonalds.  They are EVERYWHERE.  I once watched a documentary that had an adult showing kindergarten kids flash cards with symbols on it.  When the adult showed the kids a flash card with the letter “m”, the kids had no idea what it was.  When the adult then showed the kids a flashcard with McDonald’s golden arches “M”, the kids erupted as if they were just told they won a free trip to Disney World, screaming the right answer, “MCDONALDS!!!!!”

This kid loves the Golden Arches

If that’s not effective marketing bordering on brainwashing, I don’t know what is.  Back to BK commercials. They are definitely geared toward me, a male age 18-30.  BK’s commercials peaked when I was in college from 2003-2007 when they featured a man who dressed up as The Burger King himself with a mask that does not change its reaction.  My favorite of these commercials were when The King was superimposed into NFL football games.  Specifically, I loved when the King took the role of Ed Reed of the Baltimore Ravens and intercepted Drew Bledsoe of the Buffalo Bills for a touchdown.  Simply genius.

If you watched the 2010 NFL playoffs, there’s a 99% chance you are aware about the Jalapeno & Cheddar Burger.  The commercials show a bunch of jalapenos and cheddar cubes in with a black background and flames.  The voice over says starts with something like, “Beef, meet cheddar….”

A few weeks, I decided that it was time to try the Jalapeno & Cheddar Burger.  I went to the Burger King closest to work on a solo mission.  It was my first time at the Copley Square BK.  I previously avoided it because I had one in South Boston for 2 years, and because fast food joints increase their prices in downtown Boston for obvious reasons. 

Ehhhhhhhhh

When I first opened the wrapper of the Burger, I was instantly disappointed.  It was soggy and juices dripped down my hand.  I’ve been told before that I should really eat my meals at the restaurant that I buy them in, and that the transfer of the food from the restaurant to wherever I eat it declines the quality of the taste.  I understand that argument, but I try to keep my lunches as short as possible, and I would much rather spend my lunch time eating while reading espn.com than eating in the some uncomfortable chair at a fast food restaurant by myself.  I also believe that most of the time, people take their food out of fast food restaurants and my reviews should reflect that. The taste is spicy due to the jalapenos.  Every other bite or so, I taste the cheddar.  The texture of the burger isn't as meaty as I like.  The meat is surrounded by jalapeno and cheddar and its meatloafy consistency reflects that.  I would not recommend the Jalapeno & Cheddar Burger.

Ratings:

Taste: D

Visual Appeal: D

Value: C+

Actual to Commercial: D